White or Black; The Lizards are Still Winning

I want white people to relax. I know some of you are feeling a bit nervous and/or excited about the specter of a black president. You think he might actually do something good/bad. Don’t worry, he won’t.

You see, even if a black man is elected president, there’s still no need to rush out and join your local hate group. Whitey is still winning. We fixed the game. We’re paid more for less, spend hardly any time in jail when we’re caught and everyone thinks we’re beautiful. The president won’t change any of that. Even if he’s –you know– not one of us.

So calm down. Grumpy will pet your nice, straight hair while you take a deep breath.

There. there.

Feel better now?

I can almost assure you that business will continue as usual. Rich white people will continue to shit on poor people of all colors. But don’t worry. You’ve got that white thing going on. Pet your pale skin and smile. You’re allowed to feel smug. After all, you have a lot to be smug about!

It doesn’t matter if you’re broke, you and all the white people have a lot in common. Most of you have two legs. That’s pretty awesome. Must be doing something right. And I’m sure those white people in charge really care about you. Much more than a black person could. How would one of them understand? I heard they have fourteen legs! Can you believe that? Must be why they’re such great dancers.

But you want to know a secret about the people who run the world?

They’re not white. They’re not even black. They don’t even have legs. They have tentacles. And devil horns. Their tongues are forked and they keep lizard tails in their pants. It doesn’t matter what color they are. To get where they’re going, they all have to sell their bodies, souls, time and minds.

To what or who, you may ask. Well, that’s easy. They sell it to us. But not to all of us. Just the worst parts. They sell their souls to our fear, our bigotry and our ignorance. And make no mistake. Fear, Bigotry and Ignorance are buying. They’re buying it all. Have been for a long time. Will be for a long time to come.

In return for our Cthulhu-like passions we not only get to feel great/guilty about arbitrary things like being white/black, we also get the lizard tailed, tentacled, fork-tongued, devil men.

Why would we want such a thing? Well, we don’t want to do our dirty work. It’s much better to have a class of people to act out our worst fantasies on each other. That way, when the bill comes, we can point our fingers and say: “Wasn’t me. Was them,” or “I never wanted to. They made me.”

But they didn’t make us. We made them.

And it doesn’t matter if these lizards are white, black or their natural crimson. They do our dirty work for us while we pretend to look the other way. (Wink-Wink!) The president will take strange strong measures so you don’t have to. But don’t forget, you’ve got to pay him for that privilege.

And, don’t worry. If you’re unhappy, every four years you get to punish him with a grand, public sacrifice that will absolve you of all blame. Nothing was your fault. It was his.

Now that’s democracy. Enjoy it while it lasts.

pic nicked from here